Kiss the Girl (Br'er Rabbit version)
Later that evening, Ralph, Merida, Eilonwy, Taran, Angelica, and Chuckie rode in a wooden rowboat down a quiet blue lagoon. By now, the six of them had enjoyed a wonderful time while doing the tour. However, Ralph, Eilonwy, and Angelica still didn’t kiss Merida, Taran, and Chuckie out of love. So now, Merida and her brothers close to one day remaining. Nearby, Donald, Jose, Panchito, and Olaf watched from a safe distance. "Move over," Donald whispered. "Move your big snow." "I can't see a thing." added Jose, whispering. "Tampoco yo." Panchito also whispered. Olaf looked downcast. "Nothing is happening." he said, "Only one day left, and that boy and his sisters ain't puckered up once. O.K. All right, this calls for a little vocal romantic stimulation." He flew up to an overhead branch and landed, scattering some of the late Professor Ratigan's ex-thugs who were enjoying Ralph, Merida, Eilonwy, Taran, Angelica, and Tommy being together. "Stand back." said the snowman. After clearing his throat, Olaf started singing, but his singing was not very good, nor was it romantic like he perceived. Below him, Ralph, his sisters, Merida, and her brothers continued their ride in the boat. Ralph heard Olaf's poor singing voice. "Wow," he said. "Somebody should find that poor creature and put it out of its misery." Eilonwy and Angelica were covering their ears/plugging their fingers in their ears to muffle the noise. "I can't take it anymore!" Eilonwy screamed, "It's too loud!" "Does anybody have any earplugs?!" Angelica screamed. Merida, Taran, and Chuckie saw Olaf singing above them and felt embarrassed. Olaf winked at the Scottish girl, the assistant pig keeper, and the boy, but they did not feel comfortable at all with the snowman's singing. Merida just gave him an uncomfortable smile and looked away, hiding her face in her hands. "Now that's what I call 'un-romantic'." Taran said, rolling his eyes. "Oh, brother!" Chuckie sighed. Br'er Rabbit was also on the boat and, he didn’t like Olaf's singing either. Br'er Rabbit was covering his ears and glaring at Olaf. "Jeez, man," said the rabbit, rolling his eyes. "I'm surrounded by amateurs!" Annoyed with Olaf and knowing how to handle romantic music properly, Br'er Rabbit got into the water and grabbed a small petal of underwater reed grass, saying, "You want something done, you've got to do it yourself." He came back a few seconds later with Green Yoshi, Red Yoshi, Yellow Yoshi, and Blue Yoshi and several turtles. He held the reed like a baton, announcing, "First, we got to create the mood. Percussion. . . ." Knowing what to do, the turtles flipped on their backs, allowing Green Yoshi, Red Yoshi, Yellow Yoshi, and Blue Yoshi to tap their bellies like they were playing drums. "Strings. . . ." the rabbit said, as he directed towards some crickets. "Winds. . . ." Br'er Rabbit said, as cattails rustled in the wind, creating a flute-like sound. "Words. . . ." Br'er Rabbit finished, and he began to serenade the young couple. With everyone ready and playing the quiet romantic tune, Br'er Rabbit started singing. Br'er Rabbit: There, you see her Sitting there across the way She don't got a lot to say But there's something about her Ralph, Eilonwy, and Angelica perked up a bit at the mention of Br'er Rabbit's words. Merida, Taran, and Chuckie looked around, and their eyes widened when they slightly turned to be met with Br'er Rabbit and became worried. Br'er Rabbit: And you don't know why But you're dying to try You wanna kiss the girl Br'er Rabbit whispered the last line into the former bad guy's ear before he flew away. Ralph quickly turned his head to see what he had heard. "Did you hear something?" he asked. "Nope," Eilonwy said, shaking her head. "Did you, Angelica?" "I don't think so." replied Angelica. "Maybe it was the wind." said Taran. "No," said Chuckie. "It's just your imagination, Ralph." Merida just shrugged her shoulders innocently and shook her head. Soon after, Br'er Rabbit resumed his singing with Green Yoshi, Red Yoshi, Yellow Yoshi, and Blue Yoshi and the turtles now joining him. Br'er Rabbit: Yes, you want her Look at her, you know you do Ralph, Eilonwy, Taran, Angelica, and Chuckie looked at the Scottish girl, who was playing with a strand of her hair. She looked sad. When she caught Ralph looking at her, she smiled, and all sadness disappeared from her face. She and her brothers smiled back at Ralph and his sisters. Br'er Rabbit: Possible she wants you, too There is one way to ask her Br'er Rabbit's choir continued to grow with the addition of Light Blue Yoshi, Pink Yoshi, and Orange Yoshi. Br'er Rabbit: You don't take a word Not a single word Go on and kiss the girl Merida, Taran, and Chuckie leaned in with their full lips puckered, hoping that Ralph, Eilonwy, and Angelica would kiss them. Just before their lips touched, Ralph, Eilonwy, and Angelica pulled back. Br'er Rabbit, on a lily pad, poked his head underwater and directed towards some underwater locals. Br'er Rabbit: (spoken) Sing with me now. Howdy, Panda, Oxnard, Maxwell, and Dexter, riding on the boat oars, sang along as well. Br'er Rabbit, Howdy, Panda, Oxnard, Maxwell, and Dexter: Sha la la la la la My, oh my Looks like the boy's too shy Ain't gonna kiss the girl Merida placed her hand on her face in boredom. Howdy, Panda, Oxnard, Maxwell, and Dexter: Sha la la la la la Br'er Rabbit came in, surrounded by Hamtaro, Bijou, and Elder Ham, sang for Howdy, Panda, Oxnard, Maxwell, and Dexter. Br'er Rabbit: Ain't that sad? Ain't it a shame? Too bad! He's gonna miss the girl As the tune went on, Ralph, Eilonwy, and Angelica spoke to Merida, Taran, and Chuckie. "So," Eilonwy said to Taran. "You're name's Taran, and you're an assistant pig keeper." "Yes, that's right." said Taran, "I'm good at taking care of Hen Wen." "And you're a Chuckie Finster, right?" Angelica asked Chuckie. "That's exactly right." Chuckie replied. Only Ralph didn't know the Scottish girl's given name. "You know, I feel really bad not knowing your name." he said, "Hey, maybe I could guess." He laid back calmly and started brainstorming ideas. "Is it...err...Magdalena?" "Magdalena?" Angelica asked, "Who's Magdalena?" Merida pulled a face and stuck out her tongue in disgust, making Ralph laugh. "O.K., no." he said. Then he suggested some other names. "How about...Maryann?" Merida shook her head no. "Erin?" "Merida. Her name is Merida." Br'er Rabbit whispered from underneath the side of the boat. "Merida?" the former bad guy responded to the voice, but the Scottish girl across from him began nodding her head excitedly. "Merida?" Ralph asked in an excited, yet quiet, tone of voice. "That's her name." Taran said. "Hey!" Chuckie exclaimed, "I like that name!" Merida and her brothers grabbed Ralph and his sisters' hands as Merida nodded more. "Well, that's kinda pretty." the former bad guy smiled. He and his sisters had no desire to pull their hands away from Merida and her brothers' and they placed their other hands on top of theirs. "OK," said Ralph. "Merida." "I like that!" Eilonwy said with a smile. "So do I." Angelica added. Satisfied that he now knew her name, Ralph and his sisters resumed in staring at Merida and her brothers. By now, Ralph stopped rowing the boat and allowed the current flowing in the lake to move it. The rowboat rode under a willow tree as Black Yoshi and White Yoshi pulled some of the vegetation out of the way so they could get into it. Br'er Rabbit: Now's your moment (Ya, ya, ya) Floating in a blue lagoon (Ya, ya, ya) Boy, you'd better do it soon No time will be better (Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya) Br'er Rabbit appeared from underwater while singing his verse. Pashmina, Stan, Sandy, and Penelope jumped out of the water, each singing a note above his head. Br'er Rabbit: She don't say a word And she won't say a word Until you kiss the girl Soon, all of the Ham-Hams and Colored Yoshis swam up to the boat and started circling around the boat and began to sing along with Br'er Rabbit. Br'er Rabbit, Ham-Hams and Colored Yoshis: Sha la la la la la Don't be scared You got the mood prepared Go on and kiss the girl (Whoa, whoa!) Fireflies were flying around the couple and brightening their lights much brighter than ever before. A smile grew from Ralph, Merida, Eilonwy, Taran, Angelica, and Chuckie's faces as they stared at each other. Even though she couldn't talk, Ralph could tell that she really liked him just as much as he liked her. And it was the way Eilonwy and Angelica liked Taran and Chuckie just as much as Taran and Chuckie liked Eilonwy and Angelica. Br'er Rabbit, Ham-Hams and Colored Yoshis: Sha la la la la la Don't stop now Don't try to hide it how You wanna kiss the girl (Whoa, whoa!) Cappy, Boss, Jingle, and Omar were singing the song, As Light Blue Yoshi, Pink Yoshi, and Orange Yoshi were dancing and singing, Olaf walked right in front of them and cut them off by singing his terrible croaking song from earlier. They grabbed his mouth to shut him up, and they resumed singing. Light Blue Yoshi, Pink Yoshi, and Orange Yoshi: Sha la la la la la Float along And listen to the song The song say kiss the girl (Whoa, whoa!) Pashmina, Stan, Sandy, Penelope, Donald, Jose, and Panchito tagging along, came from underneath the boat and started to squirt water like a fountain from out of their mouths. Ralph, his sisters, Merida, and her brothers stared at each other even harder than before. Neither of them could deny that they had developed feelings for each other. Ralph and his sisters liked Merida and her brothers, and they liked them. Br'er Rabbit, Ham-Hams and Colored Yoshis: Sha la la la la The music play Do what the music say You gotta kiss the girl By now, Ralph, his sisters, Merida, and her brothers started slowly moving towards each other. Green Yoshi, Red Yoshi, Yellow Yoshi, and Blue Yoshi whispered. Br'er Rabbit, Ham-Hams and Colored Yoshis: Kiss the girl Hamtaro, Oxnard, Cappy, Boss, and Maxwell chirped excitedly as the two got closer. Br'er Rabbit, Ham-Hams and Colored Yoshis: You wanna kiss the girl Elder Ham, Omar, Light Blue Yoshi, Pink Yoshi, and Orange Yoshi puckered their lips. Br'er Rabbit, Ham-Hams and Colored Yoshis: You've gotta kiss the girl Bijou, Pashmina, Sandy, and Penelope waited anxiously for the two to kiss as Br'er Rabbit grabbed Olaf's neck and started shaking it watched with much anticipation. Br'er Rabbit: GO ON AND-'' All: ''Kiss the girl But just as it seemed the six were going to kiss, the boat suddenly flipped over, sending the two into the water. Br'er Rabbit slapped himself in the face with his palm and groaned in frustration, and Olaf's mouth fell open as the birds squawked awkwardly as they flew away from the wreck. All of the Ham-Hams and Colored Yoshis retreated, as if all of their work was ruined before them. "Whoa! Hang on!" Ralph called, lifting Merida up out of the water, "I've gotcha!" "We're just lucky we didn't drown." Taran said, getting up out of the water. "And that w-w-w-water was s-s-s-s-so c-c-c-c-cold!" Eilonwy shivered, after being lifted up out of the water by her love. "That means we have to go home and put on warm pajamas." Chuckie said, getting up out of the water. "Well, the tour is over anyway," Angelica said, after she got up out of the water herself. "So, that's a very good idea." Category:Fan Fiction Category:The Little Mermaid Parodies Category:Songs